EASIEST CAESAR SALAD

Photo by Carol Guilford

Most important ingredient is the crouton. Tempted as I am to purchase them, I resist and make a cup of my own from 2 pieces of crust-less unbleached flour bread, cut into ½- inch squares. Takes about 10 minutes in an 8-inch pan. You must stand your ground, over low heat and a drizzle of about 1 tablespoon olive oil because they will burn as soon as look at you. I scorched the first batch for this test salad and watched over the second  like a crane protects her offspring with her wings. Use tongs or a fork to turn as they brown.

serves 2

4 cups Romaine lettuce, washed, dried and cut into attractive pieces, about 1 large head

For the dressing

3 tablespoons lemon juice

3 tablespoons olive oil

2-4 flat anchovy fillets, mashed (I use a mortar and pestle)

¼ teaspoon garlic powder

¼ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (Lea and Perrins is good)

1 raw egg yolk

1/8 teaspoon dry mustard (Colman’s is my choice)

2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese

freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1. In a small bowl, combine the lemon juice, 3 tablespoons olive oil, mashed anchovy fillets, garlic powder, Worcestershire sauce and the egg yolk.

2. Out the lettuce in a salad bowl. Sprinkle on the Parmesan cheese.

3. Toss the salad with the dressing.  Serve. Salt and pepper, to taste.

 I have changed my version of Caesar Salad, classicist though I like to think I am. 

I wrote a scene in a (yet to be produced) film where, in a restaurant,  a mother and daughter talk about the daughter’s career as a classical flutist, while the waiter prepares a Caesar salad step by step at the table side.

SUSAN

                                   From Sunday’s Times.  Read the underlined part.

Victoria reads.

SUSAN

(continuing)

                                     Out loud.

 VICTORIA

                                                               (reads)

                                          “There is no question of the popular appeal of the

                                             flute as a solo instrument.  Flutists are becoming

                                             the ‘pied pipers’ of the current concert world.”

The waiter squeezes lemon into a bowl, adds salt, dry mustard and olive oil to the bowl.

SUSAN

                                              I want you to play again, professionally.

The waiter sprinkles Parmesan cheese into a bowl of romaine lettuce, anchovies and croutons.

Victoria starts to cry.

SUSAN

                                                                 (hands Victoria a Kleenex)

                                              Please don’t cry.

VICTORIA

                                               Emblazoned on my brain. “This was our first

                                               hearing of the pretty pre-touted-to-the-skies

                                               young flutist...

The waiter breaks a coddled egg over the greens.

VICTORIA

                                                ...who had trouble all afternoon, particularly in

                                                Bach’s B minor sonata.  Lower spitzig attacks        

                                                were weak and...

The waiter adds the dressing, tosses the salad, heaps it onto 2 plates, serves.

VICTORIA

                                                               (continuing, to the waiter)  

                                                  My spitzigs are weak.

The waiter holds up a pepper mill. Susan nods yes to the waiter who grinds pepper over the salad.

WAITER

                                                    I hope the Caesar is up to your liking. I tried to
                                                    outdo myself.

                                                                 
                                                         WAITER

                                                                         (to Victoria)

                                                          I’m very sorry about your spitzigs.

The waiter disappears. Susan and Victoria look at each other, and laugh.

VICTORIA

                                                           I ruined your Kleenex.

*spitzig is a term for using the tongue to make a sharp sound in flute playing.